


Unsteady

by karamel_dreams



Series: The three of us [8]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, tw: miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 10:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karamel_dreams/pseuds/karamel_dreams
Summary: “Their eyes locked and he didn't let her look away, he didn't let her look at the blood, he didn't let her lose control. He spoke and spoke and spoke, as if his own mind wasn't reeling, as if his own heart wasn't being torn in two. The fear of loss loomed over both of their heads, but he didn't let Kara drown in it, he kept her afloat, even when Mon-El himself could barely breathe as well.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING! This one deals with the possibility of a miscarriage so please don't read if that triggers or upsets you. It doesn't actually happen but the undertones are enough so I feel like I should warn you in advance.
> 
> @lara_lover5678 wanted something sad, @NighT_OwL23 asked for a Danvers sisters chapter where Kara has doubts about being a good mom, plus a couple others wanted to see how Kara puts Supergirl on hold because of the pregnancy. This one will have all of those.
> 
> This part is gonna be 2 or 3 chapters long, I'm not sure yet as I'm currently rewriting the thing, but I'm posting the first part anyway coz if I keep it in my drafts any longer I'm afraid I'll delete it altogether. I'm not ok with it but I'm not sure what else to change to make it better so I really hope I'm just being paranoid and you end up actually liking it. Idk, just read it.

Morning came with sharp light and warm covers. It came with tangled limbs and steady breaths. It came with soft touches and murmured words. It came and settled and as the hours passed so did the heavy darkness in a Kryptonian's bedroom. The world awoke, the city burst to life and the two occupants sleeping on the bed in the middle of the room shifted even closer to one another, so close you couldn't tell where the first one ended and the second one began.

"Mornin'," Kara mumbled, sleepily, lazily, and she rubbed one eye as she let out a small yawn.

Mon-El hummed in response and pressed a kiss into her hair, blonde locks tickling his nose. He smiled and squeezed her a little tighter, pressed her against him a little stronger, as they both took their time easing out of sleep.

Kara was used to waking up like that, with Mon-El wrapped around her, with his breath caressing her skin, with her own body chasing his own, clinging to him. She was used to waking up in a tangled mess, the covers kicked away during the night, her shirt riddled up and her hair draped across her face. What she wasn't used to was Mon-El's thumb rubbing the slight swell of her lower belly absentmindedly, even though there was nothing there yet, not a bump, not a noticeable roundness. She was used to sneaky fingers ghosting over her exposed breasts beneath her pajama top, she was used to tricky caresses across her bare hips and travelling to her inner thighs, she was used to hungry touches, ones that held promise for more. But she wasn't used to this gentleness, this innocence. Mon-El touched her and there were no underlying meanings behind the act, no fervored innuendos. He just touched her, content with only that, soft in a way that of course Kara was familiar with but still surprised her. She hadn't expected it.

"Are you going to work today?" Mon-El asked, blinking for the first time and readjusting his head on the pillow.

"Not at CatCo," Kara replied and whined when Mon-El shifted to lie on his back and withdrew his arm from around her.

The Daxamite chuckled and let her pull it back in place.

"We still have to go into the DEO though," the blonde added. She sat up a moment later, turning in bed to take a good look at her boyfriend, and smiled when their eyes met. Then she reached out and smoothed a creased line stretching across his cheek that had probably formed from the pillowcase.

"Shower or breakfast?" Mon-El asked, not sure whether they had time for both, and he turned his face slightly to press a kiss against Kara's palm.

"Shower then breakfast," Kara replied and let him use her thigh as a pillow when he maneuvered again.

Mon-El used a hand to lift Kara's top, to expose that little swell of her belly again, and pecked her there softly. He whispered something in his native tongue, something too quiet and muffled for Kara to understand, and before she could ask him about it he'd sat up and pulled her close, catching her by surprise. Kara's startled squeal got lost inside Mon-El's mouth when their lips crashed. That kiss wasn't soft, wasn't quick, wasn't gentle. It was slow but eager, greedy but with direction, loud but not desperate. Mon-El groaned when Kara bit his bottom lip, Kara tagged at Mon-El's hair when he squeezed her hips, and before either of them were ready to pull apart, they were interrupted by a beeping alarm clock.

~

About an hour later, the two walked into the DEO, side by side but not touching. Kara was dressed in her suit, Mon-El was clad in his DEO uniform, and everything about their image was a stark contrast to those previous morning moments. Gone was the grinning blonde with the ogling eyes, the enamoured man with the wandering hands. Now they kept a safe distance apart, though not too wide. Now they were serious and focused instead of lost in each other. Now they ran the place, the two most powerful figures in the building, although they still accepted orders and answered each one with a 'Yes, Sir.'

"Supergirl, I have a job for you," J'onn said as soon as he spotted them. He gave Mon-El a nod as a form of greeting but his face was set in a hardened mask, an emotionless countenance.

"What is it?" Kara asked. She knew after looking at the Martian that whatever she needed to do was serious enough, though not so urgent she had to be called in earlier. The thought relieved her a bit.

"We have a bit of a situation downtown. Armed robbery at the National City Bank with six hostages, one of whom is considered to be a suspect of alien origin in disguise. The NCPD is handling the situation as we speak but we need someone there to take control in case things get out of hand." J'onn explained.

Kara nodded, it sounded easy enough. "I'll finish up with that and then I can help you with that Kryptonian AI you've been struggling to decode," she said.

"Be careful," Mon-El joined in as the blonde rushed forward, ready to fly out the balcony.

Kara stalled for a second to glance at him and offered a tiny smile. "I'll see you later," she promised.

~

Surprisingly, what had sounded easy to Kara had turned out to be more trouble than anyone could have anticipated. Mon-El watched the live feed from the big monitors, saw Supergirl land outside the bank, talk with the police and wait as she'd been instructed. He knew Kara didn't want to intervene while there were people's lives at stake, knew she could sweep in and end it all within a matter of minutes but she wanted to give the criminals the benefit of the doubt. She was too good some times, always willing to give out second chances even when someone didn't deserve that much. So she waited and Mon-El watched, a part of him filling with pride.

But then something happened, a gunshot rang out, and Kara's face hardened, her patience fading. She rushed inside, ignoring the police, ignoring the people outside, ignoring the chaos. Only minutes later, one by one, the hostages walked out, alive and unharmed. And then the prime suspect walked out too, cuffed and with a bruised face, but Supergirl didn't. There were still shots echoing, inside of the bank a total disaster taking place, but nobody dared step in or close enough to get a look. And Mon-El himself couldn't fly out there to check on Kara, because of those gunshots, because of that damn lead allergy he still had, even though he'd been taking dosages of a cure for years.

It took some time for Winn to hack into the bank's security cameras and grant them with insight on Supergirl's whereabouts. By the time she popped up on the screens, she'd already taken the suspected alien out, but she was crouched on the floor, a pained expression clouding her features. She didn't look hurt, not even dirty, as if the fight with that alien hadn't even happened. Yet something was terribly wrong, it had to be.

Mon-El's heart clenched inside his chest when he saw her. He didn't know what to think, what to fear, and of course he was on his feet right away, ready to run to Kara. But right before he flew out, J'onn called out to him and stopped him, gesturing to the screen. Again, Mon-El watched as Kara stood on shaky legs, a grimace permanently plastered onto her beautiful face. She wobbled for a couple of steps, clenched her jaw, and crashed through the ceiling and into the open sky. Then she flew towards what was surely the DEO's direction.

At that moment, Alex ran to Mon-El's side, her eyes widened, her face flashed. "What's going on, what happened?" She asked.

Mon-El shook his head. "We don't know," he said and tightened his fists. "One second she was fine and the next she was on her knees, but I didn't notice any injuries."

Alex furrowed her brows in confusion but nodded nonetheless. They both watched Kara's signal on another screen, pinpointing her exact location, and held their breaths until the red dot stopped right where they were supposed to be.

A second later Kara stumbled in, her cheeks wet from her tears and her hands visibly trembling. "Alex," she croaked out. "I'm bleeding. Alex I'm-" she glanced down between her still unsteady legs. "I'm bleeding," she cried, her voice broken and dripping with hopelessness.

"The baby," Alex realized with a mumble and it was that pair of words that set everything in motion again.

Mon-El broke out of his momentary trance and ran to Kara, to carry her in his arms and straight to the med bay. Alex ran right behind them as she called for assistance. And J'onn, not having enough time to process the news, started barking out orders; for the doctors to help Supergirl, for a group of agents to return to the robbery scene and take the heroine's place, for everyone else to return to their jobs.

Chaos ensued where Supergirl layed, and even though Alex was trying to reassure her sister, Kara granted in pain and trembled with fear. The more she looked at her own blood between her legs, the more she felt the sharp pain like stabs in her lower abdomen, the closer she got to losing control, succumbing to her shock, to her panic. Luckily, Mon-El was still there, letting her crash his hand in her super-strong grip, whispering comforting words in her own mother tongue. As if he'd known it, the sound of his broken Kryptonian captured Kara's attention, and then Mon-El used a hand to keep her face turned solely to him. Their eyes locked and he didn't let her look away, he didn't let her look at the blood, he didn't let her lose control. He spoke and spoke and spoke, as if his own mind wasn't reeling, as if his own heart wasn't being torn in two. The fear of loss loomed over both of their heads, but he didn't let Kara drown in it, he kept her afloat, even when Mon-El himself could barely breathe as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second part, hope you like it :)

Kara awoke with a start, with a choked breath, with a scream trapped behind her closed lips. Her head felt heavy, foggy, and when she tried to sit up she realized her legs were numb and uncooperative. She looked around, narrowing her eyes when the sun lamps blinded her momentarily, and searched for someone familiar. She couldn't see anyone, and the room was dark, which probably meant she'd been out for some time. That wasn't her problem though. Her problem was that she couldn't remember falling asleep, her mind was hazy and she couldn't recall how she had ended up passed out on that hard mattress.

The blonde racked her brain for the faintest reminiscent as she checked herself over. Her suit was gone, replaced by a DEO-labeled t-shirt that she was pretty sure belonged to Alex, and her lower half was covered by one of those blue blankets the DEO kept a stack of in the med bay. Only when Kara moved her hand to lift the blanket did she notice the IV sticking out of her hand, a green-colored needle glowing underneath the tape and tube. Kryptonite.

The world came into focus more and more as the seconds passed. The haziness faded slowly and Kara started getting bits and pieces of her day back. She remembered a robbery and an alien she had to fight, she remembered an uncomfortable ache blossoming into a sharp pain at her lower abdomen when she failed to avoid a punch straight to her stomach, she remembered feeling warm blood trickling down her thigh when she stood to her feet, ready to fly to the DEO. But she hadn't felt that punch, why had she bled? And that uncomfortable ache, had it appeared then or had it been there before the fight, before she'd even put on her suit? Kara didn't know but she knew that it wasn't there at the moment. The only pain she could currently feel was the dull sting of the kryptonite needle and the pressure in her head, a headache perhaps.

But then it hit her. The pain, the blood, the panic, Mon-El's arms, her constant tears. It hit her like another punch to the gut and this time she felt it. This time it hurt. Kara gasped and pushed herself up on shaky arms. She wasn't sure what she was about to do, considering her legs still felt stiff and numb, but she had to do something, she had to find Alex. She'd fly to her if need be.

"Alex!" The blonde called out as she fumbled with her cover.

It didn't take more than a couple of seconds for someone to run straight through the door, as if they'd already been waiting for her call. Kara looked up and released a breath. It was Mon-El. Admittedly, he wasn't the one she'd called for, but perhaps at the moment she actually needed him more.

Kara took a deep breath. "You're okay," she said.

Mon-El brushed a blond strand away from Kara's face and kissed her forehead."We're all okay," he promised, "All three of us."

Kara shook her head and sniffed. "There was blood," she said with a trembling voice, the fear flooding her anew as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to listen. She tried to find that quiet little flatter, chasing the memory of it until she could hear it again. When she found it, with her eyes still closed, she started tapping her fingers, mimicking its rhythm. She wasn't sure why she did that, but maybe she was afraid of losing it again, afraid of what that could mean.

"Kara," Mon-El coaxed her to look at him again. He lifted her chin with a finger and held her face in both of his hands. "It's okay, the baby is fine."

"I can hear the heartbeat," Kara smiled dolefully, her eyelids flattering open at last. Her gaze was wet but bright, the blue vivid and absolutely breathtaking. "For a second I thought-" she gulped. "Mon-El, what did I do?"

Mon-El shushed her and pulled her gently into his arms. He felt her crying noiselessly into his shoulder but he didn't say anything, he only held on tighter. "You didn't do anything," he told her, "It's not your fault."

"But I-" Kara started again but the words wouldn't come out. "I almost-" a sob racked her body and she grasped onto Mon-El's shoulders, gripping his shirt in tight fists, struggling to fill her lungs with enough oxygen.

"Alex said it wasn't you, you didn't do anything, sometimes women bleed so early in the pregnancy, it happens," Mon-El soothed. He didn't know what else to tell her, what else to do to comfort her. "You need to take it easy from now on though," he added, his tone low.

Kara nodded. "I was so scared," she mumbled, afraid to say it loudly in case her voice cracked. Plus she didn't really like admitting such notions, it made her feel vulnerable.

"I know," Mon-El replied. "How are you feeling?"

With a sniffle, Kara pulled away from him, using a hand to wipe her cheeks. "Tired," she answered his question. "But I'm fine," she added.

Mon-El nodded, skeptical and searching inside Kara's eyes to make sure she was telling the truth, to tame his growing concern.

"I'm sorry," the blonde spoke again and Mon-El sighed, shaking his head.

"You shouldn't be," he told her. "I love you," he promised, using those three familiar words he'd pull like an ace from his sleeve when he knew nothing else could help, nothing else could get her to listen.

Kara smiled a broken smile. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she bit her lip.

"Let's never find out," Mon-El said back and kissed her, mostly to get her teeth to ease from her bottom lip but also because he needed to. As strong as he was trying to be for both of their sakes, he'd been scared too, even though he couldn't tell Kara, he couldn't burden her with his own feelings too.

~

When Alex slipped into Kara's room night had fallen outside and the stars had come out of their hiding place. Mon-El had gone to fetch some new clothes for the tired blonde so Kara was sitting alone on the sunbed, deep in thought as it showed from the crinkle between her brows.

"Hey," the redhead said quietly, walking up to her sister and sitting on the edge of the mattress. She faced Kara and took one of her hands. "You feeling better?" she asked.

Kara nodded, inhaling deeply and making her shoulders rise. "What happened?"

"Nothing you should worry about," Alex assured.

"Mon-El was being cryptic too," Kara shot her sister an accusing glare.

Alex chuckled in response, her face softening. "Really, everything's fine, you just had us a little worried for a moment, you know?"

Kara sighed upon hearing the words and pursed her lips. "How long was I asleep for?" she wondered.

"A few hours," Alex said.

"Did you use kryptonite on me? My head is really confusing right now but I remember a glint of green."

"I'm sorry," Alex apologized. "I didn't want to use it but you were freaking out and I didn't know what else to do. I didn't hurt you, you know I'd never do that, but you wouldn't let anyone touch you and I had to find out what was wrong."

"That's-" Kara nodded in understanding, "That's okay, I get it, I was pretty out of it," she admitted. "But what happened, what was wrong?"

"Nothing really," Alex repeated her previous word. "Apparently Kryptonians experience pregnancy differently than humans. Or maybe it's just you because of the yellow sun," the redhead shrugged a shoulder. "I did a bunch of tests, I thought you were around three or four weeks along but there's a heartbeat already-"

"Yeah, I noticed that," Kara cut in, her tone soft, her eyes sparkling.

Alex nodded with a smile and continued. "Which normally doesn't happen until the sixth week. So in human terms you're just shy of seven weeks pregnant and you're growing much faster than I had expected."

"What about the blood?" Kara asked.

"It's normal, your cervix is growing too fast and your body is trying to adjust. Also, I asked your mom's hologram, which it totally weird by the way, and she said Kryptonian pregnancies lasted up to twelve months, which means that at the rate you're currently going you'll actually give birth at seven months, give or take a couple of weeks."

"Seven months," Kara repeated, eyes squinting as her smile grew. She placed a palm atop her belly and looked down, partly expecting to find a bump there even though she knew her stomach was still flat. (She knew because she'd checked herself in the mirror that morning.)

"Yep," Alex agreed, popping the last letter, and she watched her sister be amazed.

But then, a few seconds later, Kara's face darkened again, a sad look crossing her features. "Alex?" she called and glanced up to see the redhead already looking at her. "What if I'm not a good mom? What if I can't protect my baby because of who I am? What if I can't be enough for them?" Blue eyes glazed over and closed tightly for a long moment.

Alex squeezed Kara's hand. "Oh sweetheart," she started. The truth was she'd been expecting such doubts from the blonde, no matter how well Kara could mask her inner fears, Alex knew her better than to believe such a big change hadn't affected the Kryptonian. Plus, she knew all about Kara's trauma caused by the loss of her family and the anger she held for the decision her mother had made to put her in a pod and send her away. "I don't know if you're going to be the best mom but I know you're going to try to be and right now, or ever for that matter, that's the most you can promise."

"But Supergirl can't be a mother," Kara said, it wasn't an argument but a statement. "It's too dangerous."

Alex's forehead creased in confusion at that. "What are you saying?" she asked.

"I'm saying that my baby deserves the best and Supergirl, for once, can't measure up. But Kara can, _I_ can, and I want to," the blonde explained, her tone determined, as if there was no doubt clouding her mind anymore. "I'm gonna prove it," she added, "I'm gonna set Supergirl aside because my kid deserves to grow up with their family, my kid deserves better than to be abandoned on a false notion that their mother is trying to save them. My kid deserves better than what I got, I'm not gonna be like my parents, I'm gonna be better." In the end Kara's voice broke and a lone tear rolled down her face. "I'm gonna be better," she repeated and wiped her cheek dry.

"I know you will," Alex agreed, reaching out and pulling Kara into her arms, her heart cracking. She knew Kara's pain would never fade, just like hers hadn't after Jeremiah left them for the second time, but she wished that it would. She wished that now Kara could be happier, lighter. And judging from the way the blonde's hand inevitably fell back to her belly, Alex saw that possibility forming, and she felt it too, because she was a part of it. She was going to be an aunt and that made her more excited than she'd expected to feel.

"We're going shopping tomorrow," Kara said, breaking the silence that had started to spread. The two pulled apart and both smiled with a glint of mischief in their eyes. "I'm going to buy every Supergirl onesie I can get my hands on, you just watch!" the mom-to-be laughed and just like that the atmosphere shifted into that idea of happier and lighter Alex had always wanted her sister to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos.  
> Also comments, I love them, write one.  
> ♡♡


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